• Molly Ryan

The 'Real' You

As well as life coaching, I work in a school but due to the current situation I have been spending the last few days setting up a self-esteem intervention, ready to run in September. As I was reading through a book to give me inspiration I came across a question which asked, “Do you normally hide your ‘real’ self away and show another you to others?”. It made me question how I present myself.

Is the ‘real’ me the same as everyone sees? I’m really not sure. I think it depends on the situation I am in. I normally try to show confidence when around others, especially when I’m working. Confidence gives the other person reassurance. If I’m supporting a student in class, confidence makes them think I know what I’m talking about, even if I don’t have a clue! It’s also my biggest support tool for my horses. If I’m confident, they trust me to do anything. If I really think about it, I don’t think there is much of a difference between the ‘real’ me and what others see now. I have spent a lot of time reading or watching to understand what I want to do before attempting to do it. If it's something more to do with my thoughts and beliefs, I spend time working on my mindset. I now trust myself enough to know I am able to do something, or be confident enough in myself to ask for help. At the end of the day, if it fails, then there’s just another lesson to be learnt.

So why do people have a difference? We are often pushed to present ourselves in a way we believe others want to see us. It's a form of acceptance. Whether this be in our workplace, out with friends, or even on social media. Occasionally it's necessary for us to have a different version of ourselves, but knowing when we are no longer being true to ourselves is when we lose confidence. Losing confidence causes self-doubt. However, sometimes the person we present to others is a person we prefer to the ‘real’ person we have. You may present a super confident person in situations you are comfortable in, but be very shy in another situation. You may wish to always be a confident person. Having that balance is important. Identifying what features you like from these two forms of yourself will help you become more aware and develop an even stronger confidence and mindset.

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